I am MIA because I’m getting MARRIED in 4 days. I have never had such stress ever in my life (and I once ran my first marathon, traveled to Asia for the first time, quit my jobs and moved to NYC in a three week span).
Advice: don’t do this. Go to the courthouse. We went to get our license and I was in tears over the couples and ceremonies. I’ve never cried at an actual wedding, only over strangers sharing something beautiful and simple (And cheap!) at City Hall.
Seriously there was a same sex make couple wearing plaid bow ties, and their dads who looked like Duck Dynasty wore the same bow ties and I nearly wept at the loveliness.
I heart ny.
Today it was announced my boss is no longer with the company… not saying more about that, but SMELL YA LATERZ!
I am 32 today. Oy.
Friends, the ability to use my legs even after all the abuse I’ve given them, my family, places I’ve never been, places I’ve been and can’t wait to see again, Starbucks bold coffees, fancy handbags, leggings, black knee high boots, YSL touche eclat, yoga, rolling suitcases, the spicy dragon roll at Whole Foods, all our new fancy kitchen devices, green tea, Chicago, my hometown, my hometown friends, cookies, black beans, Pandas.
Besides, of course, Ticketmaster. Yeah yeah I now, first world problems.
This is actually my favorite Hedwig lyric. Isn’t it true, haven’t you all felt like this?
Last time I saw you
We had just split in two
You were looking at me
I was looking at you
You had a way so familiar
But I could not recognize
Cause you had blood on your face
I had blood in my eyes
But I could swear by your expression
That the pain down in your soul
Was the same as the one down in mine
That’s the pain
Cuts a straight line
Down through the heart
We called it love
So we wrapped our arms around each other
Trying to shove ourselves back together
We were making love
It was a cold dark evening
Such a long time ago
When by the mighty hand of Jove
It was the sad story
How we became
Lonely two-legged creatures
It’s the story of
The origin of love
That’s the origin of love
And stumbled onto Jeff VanVonderen
Cause I need an interventionist
To intervene between me and this monster"
-Eminem, The Monster
Apparently we have the same favorite interventionist!
Going to Tokyo for the first time was like masturbating for the first time. Sorry I’m not sorry if that’s too graphic for you- everyone did, everyone has. Once you’ve been there you realize there is no return to your precious, unenlightened life. No life you’ve ever known will ever be the same again, and nearly every moment will be consumed with the urge to go back.
A few pictures from my first trip:
I had never been anywhere except the USA and it’s weirdo cousin, Europe before. I had never done Karaoke. I’d never eaten sashimi. I had no idea what I was doing, but I soon learned. We stayed at a cheap Priceline hotel in Ikebukuro, and then at my friend Katie’s parents place and boyfriends place, and then a hostel in Shinjuku. We never left Tokyo but I felt like i had seen more in those 7 days than my previous 26 years.
That is the month I ran my first marathon, traveled to Japan for the first time, and moved to New York City. I can honestly say that I will probably never feel so alive ever again in my life.
There is something about a visit to Japan that changes everyone who takes it. Either you had no interest in going, because your idea of a vacation is a beach in Mexico or you feel it’s going to be too weird or you have, like me, desperately been longing to go there all your life for reasons you cannot explain, but after you are hooked. Not one person has ever said to me that they went to Japan and “meh”.
I went back once I could, 5 years later. This time I really, really saw Japan. Tokyo to Tono (to volunteer in the tsunami area) to Hokkaido down to Kyoto. It was, without any near comparison, the most sublime travel experience of my life. Friendly people struggling to translate my horrible Japanese, Santa themed restaurants, wonderful fellow volunteers, clean and lovely Shinkansen trains, ancient temples, throbbing Tokyo. Oh and a sunrise at the top of Mt. Fuji.
I’ve heard fellow travelers describe Japan as being just like the US, if we were eco-conscious, healthy eater, considerate and if everything actually functioned correctly. I couldn’t agree more.
Fuji-san sunrise was worth waking up at 2:30am
Tsunami area in Tono.
Look at this fucking garden. Seriously.
I’ve been twice more since that visit, and I obsess constantly with how I’m going to get to Japan again. Could I live there, somehow? (doing something other than teaching English which no) Could I just move there and figure it out? Japan, Tokyo mostly, has taken over my mind, the way NYC once did, and I’m willing to do anything to get her.
So, last week I got in a Facebook Flame War against a high school classmate who I didn’t know well, but who always seemed like a kind, intelligent human in every previous interaction. I had not seen this person in 15 yearsish. Whelp, friends, I was wrongggggg.
This is what led to said Flame War:
Yes, that is a man in Black face. I don’t ever follow this human on Facebook, but was prompted by friends who know I’ll say what needs to be said, so I did. I have to say, my comments were pretty mild. I stated that black face was never, EVER, ok. It escalated from there and became (as is common on the Internet) a whole fucking shitshow. He assured me it wasn’t racist because he LOVED black people. So it’s ok!
Also this picture got over 90 likes, all from white people. After arguing to the max in defense of his blackface he deleted my and others comments criticizing his absurd costume.
After unfriending this person, Eric Carls, I posted the pic to my page with the comment that this is NEVER EVER OK. Except, Thanks Facebook! He was somehow re-added to my friends. He saw that I had taken his picture (and gotten dozens of likes and comments from African or African American friends. And one comment that he looked like a black Rosie O’Donnell) and became irate about this CRUEL THEFT. Which he posted on his page:
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS. I said that! Do you hate me yet? Well then you are a reverse racist, or some fucking bullshit used by his fans.
Do you know what blackface lovers don’t like? Besides, you know, just wearing their own faces? Criticism.
OK. Apparently the people of Spring Valley, IL do not know irony. Google Robert Downey blackface. Jesus Christ.
OMG YO. He’s so nice! Obviously no nice person could be racist or hateful or ignorant? I am SO MEAN for criticizing this nice Black face wearing white dude. I did begin to realize that maybe he didn’t know what he was doing or why it was wrong.
Sidebar- at this point I had texted and Facebook messaged Eric to say enough is enough, let’s end this bullshit like adults. You didn’t know what you were doing, I forgive you, etc. Surprise, he didn’t go for it. Others started trying to explain Black face to him, as we all realized at this point he was short of a deck. And then he started shouting racial slurs:
A few people told me they were sending everything to his employer, and I send another message asking that we call a truce, agree to differ, and take everything offline. And then Eric Carls asked why was blackface wrong? That is what he asked:
Whelp. After all that, a few thoughts. 1. IF YOU POST A PIC ON FACEBOOK EXPECT THAT IT WILL GO VIRAL. There is no “stealing” on Facebook. If you post it, assume that your parents, priest, boss, grandma and all the rest of America or possibly the world will see it. If you don’t know this by know you’re a fucking moron.
2. DO NOT EVER PAINT YOUR STUPID SELF BLACK. Or white, or brown, whatever. You want to be an African American character? Or even a character played by a white actor in black face who’s entire point is to illustrate how wrong black face is. Just wear your own stupid face. Numerous times in this fuckshow I was asked if whiteface was ok. NO. But shit up. WEAR YOUR OWN GODDAMN FACE. Ellen did this and managed to not piss anyone off. Look to Ellen.
3. I need to not get in flamewars with people I don’t know. They might be batshit.
Nearly every day I repin a recipe on Pinterest that I later realize my friend probably intended for her children.